Hi there. What's new? Really? Yes, I think you should see a doctor about that.

So what's going on with me? Well, my lady moved up from DC, so that's awesome. Now we are getting used to going from long distance to being in the same apartment. It's an adjustment.

But we've got things worked out pretty well. We have a very understanding and trusting relationship. For example, since Tania doesn't like sushi, I am allowed to have a sushi girlfriend. And since I hate old people, Tania is allowed to volunteer in the kitchen of an old folk home once a week. It's fair.

I would like for my sushi girlfriend to be Alison from Project Runway.

Hm. What else? What are the chances I can watch a Saints game this year where the commentators don't spend half the game talking about how much the Saints mean to New Orleans? You know what else would probably mean a lot to many people in New Orleans? Maybe a home or clean drinking water, but hey, football is good too.

I recently watched that Beastie Boys movie, "Awesome, I Fuckin' Shot That." It was kind of an annoying movie to watch, but OK to listen to. Anyway, it got me listening to the Beastie Boys again. I go through a phase once every year or so. I wrote two years ago about some crappy lyrics from MCA. I recently discovered one more. There is this line in the song Oh Word? where he says, "I'll steal your keys and then I'll check your mail."

You are going to go out of your way to steal my keys, and then all you are going to do is check my mail? It would be really awesome if that actually did happen.

Dude, weirdest thing happened to me last week.

What?

Well, you know MCA from the Beastie Boys?

Yeah.

He stole my keys.

Your keys? Like, to your house?

Yeah, and my car keys.

No shit.

I know, right? But check this out. I don't think he stole anything. I am pretty sure all he did was check my mail.

Oh, word?

Word. I mean, how weird is that? He even sorted it out, you know, like junk mail in one pile, bills in the other and he even made a little Netflix pile.

I brought this up to my friend Mike about how lame that was. He mentioned how it would be very helpful of MCA to help him out like that. So I came up with some other things MCA could rap about after he steals my keys.

I'll steal your keys, and then I'll water your plants.

I'll steal your keys, and I'll change your motherfuckin' kitty litter.

I'll steal your keys, and I'll leave a light on in your living room to discourage burglars.

Oh, word?

I have nothing else for you. I will try to be a better blogger.