Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Dave "huge balls" posted this comment, regarding my eaten feet.

mike... we need to work on your reaction times. When the first ant bit you, where was that little voice saying, "Brain to Mike, Brain to mike, come in please... yeah, we've got a situation where a small insect is sinking it's claws/pincers/teeth into your body... Brain highly recommends you moving to an alternate location and inspecting your feet for bites and/or more ants." I guess after the 70 bites, you got the message, but really dude, time to get those synapses off their lazy asses... maybe some calisthenics or something?

Well, Dave, unfortunately the previous night, where I fell into a lake, the synapses that would have been responsible for firing and alerting me to my feet being gnawed on were destroyed, thanks in part to the Coors Brewing Company, Golden, Colorado. It is, as you know, the coldest tasting beer, and I think that had something to do with freezing the synapses to death.

In other news, I am grossed out about this McDonald's ad where this chick is in her apartment and she's saying things like, "This morning, I was chased by the paparazzi" and "Today I called the pool boy... and I don't have a pool."

She says this shit before you realize it is a McDonald's commercial. Then they show her grabbing a McGriddle, which I love, but then she looks all creepy into the camera and says something like, "What will I do tomorrow? Wouldn't you like to know..."

Um, no, I would not like to know. You are creeping me out, ya McGriddle eating psycho. The ad is supposed to imply that McGriddles take you to another world or something. How the fuck does a McGriddle stimulate your imagination? Like, I said, I love McGriddles. But I've never eaten a McGriddle and thought, Oh man, today, I will do a pool boy.

Apparently there is some sort of fight between the fast food chains to have incredibly shitty commercials. Burger King is still in the lead with their "Wake Up With the King" ads, where the Burger King is in someone's bed holding a sausage and egg biscuit. And then there are those chicken fries ads with that band called "Coq Roq." Just awful.
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