Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

I am definitely going through an insanely vivid dream phase. This can be good and bad. Good because I remember really intense details that make for interesting thoughts. Bad because it sometimes has to do with Candace Cameron shitting up my toilet.

Last night I had a dream that I was doing cocaine with two former co-workers. One here and the other is blogless, so he gets no credit.

I've never done coke, so this was a big moment for me. I was a little nervous but excited, because I've heard good things. I remembered thinking that I would probably die. Not that I'm afraid of dying, but I always had that fear that I'd be that kid in college that would die after the first time trying something. You know, I'd be at a party, do a keg stand, inhale some inhalant from a balloon, next thing you know, I'm dead in a bush and my college makes national news. I didn't want to be that guy who'd ruin it for everyone else.

Anyway, in my dream, this very small amount of coke was at the end of a pencil, and I snorted it up. At first, I felt nothing. But then. Whoa. I gotta tell you...

COCAINE IS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, all the children of the world should do cocaine. At least in my dreams.

It actually had a similar feeling to when I was visited by God. Did I ever tell you that one? Oh yeah, God came to me in a dream. It was pretty amazing. I was lying in bed in the house where I grew up, sleeping, when all of the sudden, there was this intense light that paralyzed me. It felt pretty amazing. I was totally numb. Then there was a voice, not God's, but some random dude. God's bitch, I guess, who told me that I was in the presence of God. Nothing really happened, except for the most intense feeling I've ever had run through my body.

So what's my point?

Cocaine is God, I guess.

I don't know. Maybe I didn't see God. I was pretty sure it really happened. Once when I was a little drunk, I told my dad that I had seen God, and he was quite the non-believer. He said, "Why would God visit you? You haven't been to church in years. And I've never been visited by God." So I said to my dad, "Maybe he doesn't visit people of the jackass persuasion."

Hey, good name for a band! The Jackass Persuasion.

Anyway, I still think I saw God.

Whoa, I just thought of something that would be really fucking intense.

God high on cocaine.

Anyway, thanks a lot KJ and GG, for turning me into a dream druggie.