Moly holy! I have internet access. I'm on someone's wireless connection. It is very come and go, so while it's coming, I feel obligated to blog.

But what to talk about? I haven't had much in the "I've got to blog about that" recently.

I've been having really fucked up dreams ever since I moved. Well, I've always had wacky dreams, but they are just going through an extremely vivid phase lately. I love these phases. Here are two dreams I've had in the last week. You tell me which one is more disturbing.

DREAM A

I am in a movie theatre bathroom. I leave the bathroom to go meet up with my friends in the lobby. I am all excited about the movie we are about to see, but they seem less excited. One friend looks at me like, "Dude, don't talk." I then realize the theatre is being hijacked. We are all hostages to these terrorists (this happened before the London bombings, so it wasn't influenced by that).

So we are being held hostage and they make us all lie down on our stomachs and we can't look up. At one point I think I can escape and I try to get away, but I realized they were blocking the exits, so no go. But other people do try to escape. When that happens, a terrorist kills the attempted escaper, and then just to scare everyone else, they shoot someone else at random. The shootings were really vivid and violent. There was one in particular I recall where a guy shot some lady right between the eyes.

Serious shit is going down. I'm laying on my stomach when someone else tries to escape. He/she gets killed, then a terrorist comes over to me and points his gun at my head. I hear him cock the gun, then he pulls the trigger, but nothing happens. He was out of bullets. This happened a few times.

All of the sudden, somehow all of the terrorists were gone and it was over (the ordeal, but not my dream). So we all get up and somehow are ready to still go see a movie. But now the movie they are showing is an actual movie of what just happened. I say to someone, "I don't think I'm ready to watch a movie of that. It was pretty awful." They say, "Oh, don't worry, we've cut out all the parts where people get shot." So we all went in and started watching the movie. I left after about 15 minutes. I didn't care for the movie.

So that's the first dream. Here is the second dream.

DREAM B

Candace Cameron (DJ from Full House) used my bathroom and clogged my toilet with the biggest piece of shit I've ever seen. It was like the size of a baby boar. And in my dream I got real pissed and called some friend to tell them DJ Tanner just took a huge shit in my toilet.

So which one is more disturbing? Clearly, it's dream B. This dream was probably influenced by a conversation I recently had with someone where I was talking about how I had a little crush on Kimmy Gibler. I think that is probably more disturbing than either dream.

I think I need this t-shirt.