Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Thursday, August 07, 2003

This whole Arnold Schwarzenegger running for governor thing just seems too easy to make jokes about. First of all, during his announcement he said, "Do your job for the people or else you're out. It's hasta la vista, baby" and "I will pump Sacramento up. I will go to Sacramento, and I will clean house." If I was a California voter, that would have made my mind up right there. You know he probably has some campaign managers working feverishly to work "It's not a tumor" and "Vincent, I'm your twin brother" into a campaign speech. I would also like to see Arnold after every campaign stop, yell to his crew, "Run! Get to the chopper!" Predator fans of the world, unite. If he wins, that'll be two actors (Jesse "I ain't got time to bleed" Ventura) from Predator in public office. That'll be awesome. If we ever get attacked by an extra-terrestrial warrior, we will be ready. We just need to convince Carl Weathers to run for something. If he loses, you can bet your bottom dollar that he will utter the phrase, "I'll be back." This might be the most annoying campaign ever.

Gallagher, the comedian that smashed watermelons, is also running. All reporters in the first few rows of his press conferences will be covered in plastic.

Gary Coleman is running as well, and I'm sure somewhere he's already said, "Whatchoo talkin' about Governor Davis?" or more appropriately, "Whatchoo talkin' about Mr. D?"
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006