I've had Cleveland Rocks stuck in my head for about a week now.

So yeah, I live in Ohio. It's different than most places I've lived, but you know, it's still America. Not totally different, but enough to go, Oh hey, that's different.

Lots of dudes with mustaches around here. And not ironic hipster mustaches. The guys here actually have real mustaches. There seem to be a lot more fat people here, but I might just be imagining that one. Like now when I see a fat person, I might think, Ohio is so fat! Whereas if I saw a fat person in New York, I'd just be like, "Outta the way fatty! Back to Ohio with you!"

So what else? I love my new apartment and entire apartment building. So far no one has been murdered outside. So that's nice. We have a gym in our building, which I totally intend to use. Tania is there right now. I am here eating Taco flavored Doritos and blogging. I feel like every Dorito since Cool Ranch has been basically the same as Cool Ranch, but they just change one ingredient. Like you could play the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game with Doritos. But it's the Six Degrees of Cool Ranch. Holy crap, their web site is annoying.

Sheesh. How hip can you make a snack chip? Apparently this fucking hip. You can rock your mouth out and do a stupid dance in your UGGs. This picture could have easily been stolen from www.BadHeismanPoses.com. That should be a real site.



Oh, this site is actually kind of fun. If you go to the Spicy Nacho page, this totally radical chick throws a spray paint can at you. I fart tagged that shit!



Oh, check this shit out. Ethan Hawke is apparently a Black Pepper Jack kind of guy.



Check out Cool Ranch lady. She is apparently riding an electric bull head that has sticks of margarine in place of its horns.



Well, that's enough fun for one night. I'll blog a little more when I am settled or something. Although I am going on vacation next week, so you might have to sit tight. No, tighter. Come on, tighter! No wait. Too tight.

Love Mike.