Here are more questions from readers, along with my answers.

The first three are from srah dot net . You should visit her blog and play with the Pepto Bismol Dance Machine. You can make a black guy, a homely lady and a cowboy grab their butts because they have the scoots.

Oh, these would have been more timely if I answered them closer to Halloween.

1. If you could trade places with one fictional character, who would it be?

Hm. That's a good question. Not Jack Bauer, because the dude needs a nap. They should have an episode of 24 where he does take a nap and the entire hour is Jack's dream. It can be the craziest 24 ever. Also, if we traded places, he would be super bored with my life. Although my lady would be happy with the trade, I think Jack Bauer would find my job a little less intense. He'd keep yelling at people, "Who are you working for?!?!" And they'd be like, "Um, you."

Anyway, that wasn't the question. It'd probably be a George Clooney character. One of the cool ones. I'll go with Jack Foley from Out of Sight.

2. What is your favorite kind of Halloween candy?

Like the last question, I am going to answer it with the opposite of what you asked. My least favorite is candy corn. So nasty. That's the only real Halloween candy I can think of. Know what I mean? Like, you only see it around Halloween. Most of the other candy is all year round candy, right? I dunno. I like Twix.

3. What's the best Halloween costume you've ever worn?

Mrs. Roper. I was in college and it was totally last minute. I had some connections in the theater department (I was gay) and we went into the costume shop and tried to think of things. Finally, this funny gal named Karen says, "Mrs. Roper." It was brilliant. We found a muumuu, a reddish wig, she let me borrow a really long necklace, I threw on some sandals and that was it. I was Mrs. Roper.

Not everyone knew who I was at first glance. Some people were able to guess after a bit, but once everyone did find out, they were quite impressed. I actually made out with this chick that I had a crush on for the longest time, so that was exciting. But then the next day I realized I was wearing a wig and a muumuu, so that was kind of awkward. She turned out to be a big druggie, so that might have explained things.