Hey, there's a Hurricane John. Who knew? I didn't.

I saw this headline the other day -- Dangerous John Marches Up Mexican Coast -- and I was like, "Cool, who the fuck is Dangerous John and what's he doing in Mexico?" I had never heard of this guy, but I assumed he was some sort of bandito heading up the coast, getting ready to cause a ruckus somewhere in Mexico. I thought there was going to be a coup. I am serious about this. I thought it was kind of awesome. I got excited that there was going to be some crazy El Guapo kind of shit going down in Mexico started by this crazy guy named Dangerous John.

So I click on the link and was totally disappointed by a stupid hurricane. I am so sick of hurricanes. I wish my nickname was Dangerous John.

Oh well. Stupid misleading headlines. Ruining my day.