Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I have a problem with my morning television viewing. The Price Is Right and Cash Cab are on at the same time. It is a dilemma, but I make the most of it.

Just now on Cash Cab, these chicks were one block from their destination, had two strikes, had to answer one question correctly, or they would walk away with nothing. Now, I am going to give you the first half of the question, because I don't remember the second part of the question. But no matter. All you will need to hear is the first part of the question, and you will get it right. Unless you are one of the two dummies who were just in the back of the Cash Cab. Here is the question:

What three horned breed of dinosaur...?

OK, you got it right? Now be honest, how many of you said "Triceratops"? OK, now how many of you said "trioptasaurus"?

I apologize if I am spelling that incorrectly, but it's difficult to spell because it's not a fucking word.

The best was that these girls looked at each other and seemed to agree that they knew it. Oh, well, at first, one of the girls said, Triannosaurus Rex." If only they had my seven-year-old nephew with them, they would have won some cash.

The best part is that when the answer was revealed, instead of being like, "Oh, my gosh, duh!" they both acted as if they had never heard of a Triceratops. One even said, "Oh, I would have never gotten that."

Meanwhile, on The Price Is Right...

They seem to be slowly catching up to the fact that college students watch their show, and the advertising is starting to skew that way. Yes, they still have the ads for the old person scooters and Wilford Brimley is still pissed off at diabetes, but today that ad for Heineken showed up. The one where the chick sings "Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?" I am pretty sure that isn't directed to the old folk home.

There is also a Barker's Beauty that is apparently named Fire. Is this American Gladiators or a strip club? I would love to hear Rod Roddy in his best strip club DJ voice say, "Hey guys, now on the main stage is Fire... And she's got the next item up for bids, if you know what I'm sayin'... It's a washer and dryer! Um, if you know what I'm saying."

I miss Rod Roddy.

Anyway, I need to get TiVo so I never have to miss Wilford Brimley say the word "diabetes" like no one else has ever said it. DIE-A-BEAT-US. Say it fast.

Oh, speaking of interesting advertising, the other day I was watching The Learning Channel. And what was I learning about? Well, it was a show called Sports Disasters. I learned on this channel that sometimes when people ski, they get caught in avalanches, and sometimes when people are in cars that go 200 miles per hour, the car can crash and go on fire, and sometimes when stunt men try to jump over lots of cars while driving another car, they don't always make it and can break ribs and such.

Anyway, as I was learning all of this on The Learning Channel, they were like, "Coming up, a skier takes a life threatening plunge. Plus, a speed boat race takes a turn for the worse. And then, this jockey get the motherfucking shit trampled out of him." Then, and I am not kidding here, they say with a way too happy sounding voice over, "Sports Disasters is brought to you by Little Debbie snack cakes."

Mmmm, that bone crushing skydiving accident is making me hungry for an Oatmeal Creme Pie. I don't know what it is about a parachute not opening, but it always wakes up my sweet tooth.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006