You know that American Express commercial with Kate Winslet where she says things that reference her films like, "At 17 I went to prison for murder... I almost drowned at 20... I had my memory erased at 28." You can see it here. Kind of a clever little ad, that somehow is supposed to make you want to use American Express.

I would like to see them do one for Jodie Foster.

"At 13 I was a teenage prostitute. At 26 I was gang raped on a pool table. Then when I was 29 I went to visit this cannibal in a jail, but on my way to see him, some dude threw his jiz on my face. And when I was 32, I was in Nell. My life. My card. American Express."