Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

I still have not posted the second half of my vacation story, huh? Does anyone care anymore? I don't.

On our last day in Miami, before the hotel screwed up my day, I was reading the complimentary newspaper. I then saw this picture on the weekend magazine that was in the Miami Herald or whatever paper it was.


I was like, "Damn, Tania, we weren't this sexy on our vacation. What did these sexy people do that we should have been doing??"

Turns out they were being this fucking sexy on an airboat in the Everglades.


So I was like, "Shit! Our vacation is now ruined because I didn't think of showing my nipples while looking for crocodiles."

I have been to the Everglades, and I have been on an airboat. It was not this sexy. I was there when I was a kid, and I was a pretty sexy kid. My family and I were on this airboat that kept breaking down. Every time it broke down, we would be attacked by mosquitoes. It was awful. So everyone on the boat would start smacking their skin and trying to kill the mosquitoes, but the airboat driver would say, "Don't smack at 'em. You'll only aggravate 'em even more."

By the way, our driver was not sexy. Unless you like that whole Brawny Man totally letting himself go kind of thing. And I mean the old Brawny Man. The one with the mustache. Not the new kind of queer one.

You know what else was kind of funny about Miami? Before I went, everyone was talking about how beautiful the people are down there. Well, I think the beautiful people had the week off.

Exhibit A

miami 030

That is a nice tan line, though.

If not for my lovely lady, I would not have seen one sexy person.

miami 044
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006