Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

I promise* that I will have the second part of my vacation posted by the end of this week.

*Promise not valid on the Internet.

So I was in DC this weekend to visit the lady. On Sunday, we went to hang out down on the mall. Well, hang out is the term for the bros, have a picnic is the term for the ladies and the gay bros. Anyway, it was a nice day and I've got the sunburn on my nose to prove it.

When we emerged from the Metro, a girl handed us a piece of paper that encouraged us to join a rally to save Darfur. She said, "It's going to be historic." Maybe so, and I'm all about the anti-genocide, but hey, I'm on a picnic! Don't kill my buzz, hippie! Here is the piece of paper I was handed.

I put the piece of paper away and wish the people of Darfur the best. We go and find some grass to sit on and do nothing for three hours. It was quite enjoyable.

Tania and I at one point talked about how it was a nice day for a rally, but Tania mentioned that she didn't want to fight genocide on a Sunday. I agreed. Sundays are for lazy. I'll change the world on Monday.

After we got back home and I was emptying my pockets, change and whatnot, I take out the piece of paper about Darfur and then see this on the back.

Fuck! George Clooney! Hey, Darfur people, that should have been your thing! Just say George Clooney and hand out the piece of paper backside up. Here is how I would have handed out the paper:

Me: Here you go. George Clooney speaking out about the atrocities in Darfur. (I would mostly mumble after the word "speaking.")
Someone: Wait, what's George Clooney doing?
Me: Yup, right over there.
Someone: Really? The real George Clooney?
Me: Yup.
Someone: And what is he doing this for?
Me: Yup. George Clooney. 2:00. It will be historic.

I guarantee you it would have raised way more Darfur awareness.

Anyway, I have another comment for my pal, Lozo! I think I might just create a blog called miketoolecommentsonstufffromlozosblog. Hey, I just did! But for now I will post this comment here. Oh, the real reason I don't post these comments on Lozo's actual blog is because long comments make you seem like a loser.

Anyway, this is in reference to his recent post after the his beloved Devils demolished my beloved Rangers. I won't go through it point by point, because it is way too long, but here are some thoughts:

Dave, the Rangers fans who were still holding on to the "You never beat us in the playoffs" are dumb. So dumb. Not even real fans. I would also say the Brodeur arguments are from the same fans. He's the best, no doubt about it, and anyone who knows hockey should tell you that. And the fact that you've heard these arguments from actual Rangers fans leads me to believe you hang out with stupid people who are Rangers fans or you hear this at Devils games from other drunk Rangers fans, and then you and your drunk Devils fans friends yell back and it continues all the way to the ends of the parking lot until both groups realize they forgot where they parked their car.

And yes, regarding Lundqvist in my case, I was totally thinking long term. I would have gladly taken Brodeur over any goalie in the league for the last six years. I still don't like the fact that he cheated on his wife with her own sister. That shit wouldn't fly in the Toole organization (say it like a Canadian - organ-eye-zation). We have family values.

My biggest gripe is with you calling Lundqvist mediocre. Based on what? He was a rookie this year, and before the injury was one of the best goalies in the league, hands down. And hey, I did some research!

In his first full year, Brodeur played in 47 games, had a 2.40 GAA and a .915 save percentage. He also won 27 games. Not bad. But according to you, it is less than mediocre. How's that? Well, Lundqvist, in his first full year played in 50 games, had a 2.24 GAA and a .922 save percentage. He won 30 games (which is a bit skewed because of shootout wins). He also faced 247 more shots than Brodeur. So a better save percentage after facing more shots? I'd say Lundqvist might have a better than mediocre career in him.

Of course, Brodeur got his team kind of far in the playoffs that year, but if Lundqvist didn't get hurt and the if the Rangers hadn't all come down with a case of the Sucks, they could have done lots more in these playoffs. And if the Rangers and Devils had met up when both playing their best hockey, it would have been a hell of a series. I know - if if if.

You know what upset me most about your post, though? It's what I find most annoying about sports and sports fans today. People get more excited about seeing other team's fans upset than it seems they do about their own team winning. Sure, beating a rival makes things sweeter, especially when the asshole fans have been talking shit. So Dave, take pleasure in seeing the asshole face painting fans lose, but for guys like me, have a little sympathy.

You never painted your face, did you? Or were you one of the guys in the upper deck with an "E" painted on his chest? You don't strike me as an E. Maybe an I.

I had way more to write after I first read your post, but my rage has simmered. Let's go Mets.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006