Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Hey God, you busy?

Of course I am. I am God.

Yeah, I know. Dumb question. Can you just come here for one sec?

What is it?

Can you bless this horse real quick?

A horse?

Yeah. His name is Barbaro.

Well, I am really busy. A lot of citizens in Afghanistan were just murdered.

Yeah, I know, but this horse really needs you. He busted his leg up pretty bad.

Oh, so he's not even dead?

No. But they keep saying his chances of living are 50-50.

Well, that's pretty good, you know, for a horse.

I know, but there was a chance he could have won the Triple Crown.

Hm, well this kid I was about to bless had a chance of seeing his children again, but he got killed by a roadside bomb.

God, I know there are lots of things on your plate right now, but people really seem to like this horse. It would lift the spirits of Americans if you would just bless this horse.


Yeah, it's like the equestrian 9/11.

Okay, fine. Bless you Barbados.

No, Barbaro.


Great, thanks God. You've really made a difference.

No problem. Aw, dammit!

What happened?

While I blessed that horse, a bunch of miners just died.

Oh. That's too bad. People really seem to like miners lately.

They are motherfucking heroes.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006