Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Man, fuck, right? I used to blog all the time, and lately all I really want to do is put a bullet in its head 'cause it's got a broken leg.

I think the second part of that sentence would be a good rap lyric. Feel free, young, black, fledgling rap star to take that line. Just thank me in the liner notes. Motherfucker.

I've thought of lots to blog about lately, but haven't had the will to put it on the page.

The biggest news I have to report is that I got HBO. I called up about three hours before The Sopranos came on. It was a wise investment. Made even wiser by the fact that the first movie I saw when I was scrolling through all of the HBO's was Chronicles of Riddick. Fuck yeah! Then they had on Weekend at Bernie's 2. Fuck yeah 2!

I was on an airplane last week coming back from Atlanta. We left the gate and started taxiing (weird word to see written) on the runway, and this old lady a couple of rows in front of me starts puking. We haven't even taken off yet, so she is basically getting car sick. On a plane.

Mind of Mencia. Does anybody watch this show? Don't answer that if you do.

Donald Trump named his baby Barron William Trump. I have never wanted to beat up a baby so bad in my life.

Hm. Oh, so this dude named Lex donated to the AIDS Walk and took me up on my offer of blogging about whatever you tell me to.

Anyway, I want you to blog about my name, "Lex," and what you think life must have been like for me over the past 25 years as a guy named Lex.

I imagine in elementary school, there were lots of "Lex has sex" jokes, which eventually turned to "Lex doesn't have sex" jokes in middle school and high school.

Sorry Lex, that's all I got. It is my bed time. But thanks for donating, and thanks to the other people who donated. And for those of you who didn't donate, I hope you are enjoying all of the indirect murdering you are doing.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006