Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Thursday, March 30, 2006


Anybody out there really like Cumin?

So I got home from work this morning and decided to cook me up some chili all up in my Crock pot I got for Christmas. I have made chili about five times since I've had it, so I pretty much know the recipe. Once I added in everything, I get to the spices. I grab the Cumin and the chili powder. Three tablespoons of chili powder and one teaspoon of Cumin. So I take the chili powder and put in three tablespoons. Then I grab the Cumin and realize it's the chili powder. I just put three tablespoons of motherfucking Cumin in my chili. I will know how it tastes in nine to eleven hours.

Anyway, if you really like Cumin, party at my house.

I think I was distracted by thinking about a shitty morning I had at work, and also The Price is Right. Gosh darn, I love that show. Bob Barker is so funny. The other day this dumb girl gets up there and has the chance to win A NEW CAR! After they announce what kind of car it is, she is looking to the audience for advice. Then she asks Bob, "What kind of car is it again." And he tells her whatever it was, a Ford Festiva or something. Then she asks one more question about the new car, "What year is it?" So Bob Barker looks at her and says, "What year is it? It's a 1996." I laugh, most people in the audience laugh, but the dumb girl turns back to the audience for more advice. She finally realizes she was an idiot. I think she lost. I forget. I hope she lost.

Going on The Price Is Right is on my list of things to do before I die. Well, scratch that. It's on a special list. Here it is:

Things to do in my life before Bob Barker dies

  • Go on The Price Is Right before Bob Barker dies.


That's it. I would be really disappointed though, if I went and I or someone I went with didn't get called down. You obviously have to impress someone before the show starts. In case you think it's all random selection, it's not. There is a disclaimer at the end of the show that says contestants are chosen prior to the show. Of course they don't know it until they get called down.

So to get chosen, you need to be one of the following:

- Someone on a family reunion. You must have matching t-shirts saying so.
- A cute little college girl/tall, handsome college guy on vacation with your sorority/frat/athletic team. You must be wearing matching t-shirts.
- A borderline senile white haired woman from a Midwest state. You must be wearing a t-shirt that says something about Bob Barker.
- A fat, excited black lady. It doesn't matter what kind of shirt you wear, as long as your boobies bounce like mad as you make your way down.

Then there is the wild card. The person who gets chosen who is not in a huge group with matching t-shirts. I think that's where I would be. I have spent much time thinking what kind of shirt I would wear. I would like for it to be very clever, but not offensive. I would like to wear a shirt that says, "It's my birthday and I have cancer." But I don't think they'll let me in with that one on. I tried to use that at an Orioles game to get a baseball at the end of the game, but it didn't work. I was really drunk.

Oh well. If I had comments on this blog, here is where I would say, "What would YOU put on a t-shirt if you were going to be on The Price Is Right?" But I don't have comments, so keep it to yourself!

Bye bye bloggy buddies.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006