Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Friday, February 03, 2006

Holy crap, it's sixty degrees outside. Melt, you polar ice caps, melt! If this is winter, I'll gladly take six more weeks. Thanks, groundhog.

When I was in Chicago back in May, it was a chilly day, and the cab driver on the way to the airport kept saying, "I don't see this global warming. They keep saying it, I don't see it." You hear that egghead scientists?? It was around 55 degrees in May in Chicago. Global warming is off!

This cab driver also gave me his card, even though he knew I was going back home to NY. Just in case, I guess. Maybe I'd be back in Chicago in twenty years, need a cab, then be like, "Wait, I know a guy!"

I didn't realize how warm it was outside today because I didn't go outside until very late. I was watching Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. This is not a good movie. It's really bad, actually. I barely remembered it from when I was a kid. I remembered mostly the monkey brains and the heart being ripped out. And the little Asian kid from the Goonies. He is the Jar Jar Binks of the Indiana Jones series.

And Kate Capshaw, I don't know what she is. More annoying than Jar Jar Binks and the Goonies kid combined. Iiindyyyy!!! Ugh. Shut up. I totally would have let her go into the lava.

And now for the reason you are all here!!! My 72nd annual Super Bowl picks!!!!

Coin toss winner: Seahawks with a choice of heads. It's so fucking obvious.

Best commercial: The Budweiser frogs talking on the phone to each other going "WAAZZAAAPPP???!?!" Oh man, that'd be hilarious.

Best hair: Troy Polamalu. My friend Rick once told me that Troy's pubes are similar to the hair on his head, and when he is dressed in his underwear, his pubes hang out the same way his hair hangs from his helmet.

Best noggin on an ESPN analyst: John Clayton.

Oh man, what a nerd.

Winner of the game: Steelers 24 - Seahawks 13.

Have a good weekend. And don't forget to remind your friends while you watch the game to imagine Polamalu running around with his pubes hanging out the back of his underwear.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006