Happy Ne... ah, forget it. You are sick of hearing that, right? Me too.

So I was in Atlantic City for a bachelor party on Thursday. And like every other bachelor party I've ever been to, we took orphans to the zoo. It's so worth it. Just to see the smiles on their faces. I also won some money at a blackjack table. I was really drunk. I've only won at blackjack when really drunk. And usually after taking orphans to the zoo.

I saw Brokeback Mountain. Normally, I would make a gay joke here, but it's all been done. A Google search of Bareback Mountin' will reveal that fact. Anyway, I went to see it with me lady, because that is one movie I don't think I'd be brave enough to see by myself. So it turns out I am not afraid of homosexuals, just afraid of people thinking I'm a homosexual. It would probably be difficult to find a straight fella other than Roger Ebert who went to see the movie by their lonesome.

Here is part of a conversation Tania and I had after the movie:

Me: Heath Ledger was really good, but I thought that it seemed like Jake Gyllenhaal was playing dress-up.

Tania: Isn't that what acting is?

Me: Yeah, but I'm not supposed to notice it.

Tania: True.

Me: I guess he did an OK job of being the needy gay cowboy.

Tania: Well, he was the bottom.

Yeah, spoiler alert. Jake is the bottom bitch. And they don't ease you into the gayness of the movie. Here is a quick blog impression of the first 15 minutes:

Hey, let's herd these sheep. OK, that's some good sheep herdin'. Uh oh, it's cold out there. You'd best get in this here tent and out from the cold. Spoon me, Heath Ledger. Oh, I'll spoon you alright! Right up the bum with my weiner!

The dialogue is a little off, but the rest is fairly accurate.