I really ought to take note of brands of toilet paper and paper towels that I buy. The last bunch of toilet paper I had was the best. Nice and soft, and you could also blow your nose in it. I also had some super absorbent paper towels. But I don't remember either brand. So this most recent batch of paper products I bought are severely disappointing. The toilet paper is not very soft and the paper towels just kind of move water, rather than absorbing it. Damn. Pooping used to be a dream! Now it is a horrible nightmare.

So last night I am at this bar called Doc Holliday's for good old Irish boy, Patrick McGrath's birthday. Woo! Shout out! Just for the record, Pat's a great guy. Also, just for the record, Doc Holliday's is one of the worst bars in the city. It smells, it's crowded, and they charge you six dollars for a Guinness that they may or may not put in a plastic cup.

Anyway, I was heading back to the bathroom at one point. Because I had to pee. The bathroom is located in the back. There is this little room with an old arcade game. To the right of the game is the door to the bathroom, and to the left is this little alcove. As I went into the bathroom, I noticed a guy standing to the left of the arcade game who appeared to be peeing. I thought it odd because there was no line for the bathroom, so it wasn't like he was waiting and couldn't wait anymore.

Whatever, a guy peeing in a corner at Doc Holliday's. No big deal, I thought. The place is covered in urine. So on my way back out of the bathroom, I see a bouncer standing there looking at the guy. He has obviously made him finish up and told him to get out. But then as the dude is buckling up his belt, I see a gal stand up and appear from the alcove. Dude was getting a BJ!

I find this disgusting. Not because I am offended by sex acts in public, but in Doc Holliday's??? I would never! I am a man of discriminating taste.

If you'd like to see more examples of why I don't like this bar, just go to the official web site and check out the photo gallery. I think you will agree that it honks. This photo right here is kind of a good description of the bar.

Doc Holliday's -- Where drinking is akin to torture!

This photo might explain why the place smells like a dog's ass. I think at one point last night I said to someone, "My beer tastes funny. I can't really put my finger on it, but I think it has worms."

Oh man, this guy was there last night! He kept talking to us and, keeping with the theme of the bar, he smelled really bad.