Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Monday, December 26, 2005

A couple of weeks ago I had been awake for over 24 hours and thought it would be a good idea to go food shopping. While food shopping, I thought it would be a good idea to buy a few Hungry Man dinners. I then thought it would be a good idea to put them in my freezer. Then I thought a good idea would be if I took one out of my freezer, brought it to work, microwaved it according to Hungry Man's directions, and then eat it.

Despite me thinking this was a good idea, there was always a voice inside my head saying, "Mike. This is a bad idea. You know that, right?" Then I'd be like, "I know it is but I can't stop myself." Then the voice would say, "OK. Just as long as you know."

Once I got to the point of eating it, my thoughts kept quiet and just watched with a reluctant interest. The same way I once watched half an episode of Joey. I know it's going to be bad, but just how bad?

I can safely say that Joey is worse than a Hungry Man dinner. Don't get all confident just yet, Hungry Man! Joey sucks balls.

But to my surprise, Hungry Man doesn't suck total balls. It's far from great. If you aren't familiar with what hungry men eat, there is a main dish, like fried chicken, something in potato form, usually some corn, and a brownie. The brownie makes things a little queer. Also, you have to take it out before the rest of it is done cooking, so you've just got this hot brownie sitting there. I like to eat that first. Why? Because I am hungry, man!

And because it's a hot brownie just waiting to be eaten. Brownies are best when hot. You know when they are not best? When they have corn in them. The biggest problem with the Hungry Man dinners is the unpredictability of the brownie. The first one I had, the brownie was frozen at an odd angle, so when it melted, chocolate got on my chicken. I was all, "Your chocolate is on my chicken! No sir! Your chicken is on my chocolate!" So I had chocolate chicken for dinner.

With this Hungry Man dinner I am currently eating, the corn overlapped into my brownie, so I had some corn in my brownie. Poo joke, anyone?

Hey, so how was your Christmas? Mine was fantastic. I got everything I asked for. Lots of kitchen stuff because I would like to be a better cook. Granted, I love chocolate chicken and corn poo brownies, but it'd be nice to be able to cook for myself on a regular basis. So if you want to come over and hang out, I've got a food processor and a crock pot now. I have no clue what to do with them, but maybe you can help. Or you can look at my new wine rack and we can get shitty.

I also got a coffee bean grinder and coffee maker, which is very exciting. It grinds the shit out of beans! And then makes delicious coffee! I can't wait to go buy beans! I love the smell of coffee beans! Especially at Empire which has the best coffee! Beans beans good for your heart beans beans great for your heart!

Hey, here is a blog people should read. This gal is funny. I always forget to read her, but then when I do, I laugh lots. Like this post.

Merry Christmas and other holidays! Hey Jesus, sorry I didn't make it to church on your birthday. I was too busy making you a cake! I hope you like chocolate and corn!
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006