Balls! It got cold out. Man. I love the cold, but you gotta ease me in, Mama Nature.

I haven't blogged in so long, I kind of forget how to do it. So here's a quick dumb little thing. (Hey, maybe that's the whole point of blogging... a quick dumb little thing.)

I was at a diner recently eating breakfast, and there was some pretty poor service. It took a long time to get food. But I am not one to complain. There was this other lady at a nearby table who was one to complain. She wasn't complaining about how long it took to get her food, but about the quality. She was complaining about her bacon.

And she was a total bitch about it. I don't know exactly what she said, but you could tell it was rude. And she is returning bacon.

Bacon.

I believe she was complaining about that it wasn't cooked enough. OK, fine. But she returned it FIVE TIMES.

FIVE!

Holy crap, you've gotta be a very trusting person to return something five times. After the fourth time, I wanted to tell her, "You know, there's a good chance when you first got your bacon, it wasn't cooked to your liking. But now it doesn't taste right, because there are four cooks back there sticking that bacon up each other's assholes."

You just can't return something more than once.

Speaking of the number four, I once wrote on this blog how 40 should be spelled fourty. I've gotten plenty of searches like "why isn't forty spelled fourty." And it's a good fucking question. Anyway, one day I was writing a check, and I realized I spelled "forty" as "fourty." The best part about that check is that it was for my student loan. So there I am writing a check to the Department of Education with a number spelled wrong.

"Thanks for the education, America. I can't spel!"