There is something inherently funny about a clown driving a car. I don't mean one of those little clown cars where 15 clowns somehow inhabit the space. I mean seeing a guy, whose job it is to be a clown, driving to work in his very own car. You pull up at a traffic light and see next to you a clown driving his Taurus to some kid's birthday or to the hospital to cheer up some kids.

It's just funny. His face is all clowned up, probably wearing a wig, and he's just like, "Come on light, turn green."

Oh, clowns. My, how they suck. We were talking about clowns at work the other day and a co-worker actually said, "I really like clowns." I haven't heard anyone admit to liking clowns in quite some time.

A quick Google search of "clowns for hire" just led me to, yep, www.clownsforhire.com. They make me laugh for all the wrong reasons. Seeing this just makes me smile:

Interested in Hiring a Clown?

Well, no I'm not, but I would like to know who is. If I ever have to organize another bachelor party, I'm getting clowns instead of strippers.

I like this web site. You can search for clowns in your area, and pick which kind of clowns you'd like to search for. One of the options is Female Clown. That seems creepy to me. There is also the Multicultural Clown. Now I am picturing some racist who wants to get a clown for his kid's birthday and being like, "Make sure you don't get no nigger clown."

I think if I got a clown, I'd look for one in the General Clowning Around category. He'll just come and fuck around. Nothing specific. No juggling. Just here to clown around. There is also the Storytelling clown.

"Gather round boys and girls, and I will tell you a story about me not being able to pay my electricity bill!"

This crazy looking lady is named Sprinkles the Clown.



No Sprinkles the Clown performance is complete without an appearance from her main sidekick, the puppet, Spaghetti Head the Raccoon. Because of the close relationship the two have developed over the years, the children actually believe Â?SguettisÂ? to be a real raccoon as he does tricks on command.?When Sprinkles the Clown counts 1, 2, 3 you will fly through the air and do somersaults.Â? ItÂ?s not until he flies right into their laps do they realize the real joke is on them. How they love it!

OK. I'm done with this clown stuff. It is making me feel uncomfortable.