So hey, Sept. 11 happened this weekend. That's getting old real fast, huh?

I kid. But I do find it odd that the ceremonies from Ground Zero are televised in their entirety. You know, when all the people are crying and they are reading the names, do we need to see that? Yes, people will say that we should be reminded of that awful day, but I find it kind of, um, I don't know. Icky? It makes me feel like I am intruding on a personal, private moment. I feel that it should be kept private. The same way I keep it private when I masturbate in the tub.

Or do I????

Oh, so anyway. It seems as though the Ground Zero memorial will never happen. There will just be arguments back and forth for years. It will remain the ugly construction site that it looks like right now for quite some time.

My favorite part of Ground Zero right now can be seen if you go there from the exit on the N train. When I used to live in Queens, I'd walk by it every day. What was it? Well, it was this piece of wood that was some sort of construction piece. I don't know what it was used for. In fact, I had never seen it moved. So what is so exciting about this piece of wood? Well, prominently displayed on it by some red paint was a sentence. What was the sentence?

Perhaps, "God bless America?" Nope. Maybe, "We will never forget?" Negative. OK, um, "Osama can run, but he can't hide?" And then below that, maybe, "OK, so he can run and hide, but at least God will get him." No, none of that. In nice big red capital letters, it read:

ERIC SUCKS DICK.

And it was right there in plain view for all the tourists to see. I would often help some lost tourists find Ground Zero. I would tell them to just get off the train when I do, and it's right there. And that is where they would find out that a man named Eric has been accused of being a homosexual.

Welcome to this hallowed ground, where so many lost their lives on a brilliant Tuesday morning in September. And oh yes, Eric sucks dick.