Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Hi. You look pretty today.

I would like to echo Kristin's point about complaining about gas prices. The only person I've really heard complain was myself, though. So hey, Mike Toole, shut the fuck up!


I've been good about shutting myself up, though. I have a new slogan that I say when I, or someone else complains. Well, not a slogan, but a mantra. Here is an example from this weekend. This was me at the first gas pump I stopped at on my drive down to DC.

Me: Man, I should have got gas in New Jersey. It was thirty cents cheaper. Shit. Fucking hurricane. (pause to hear myself bitching). Well, at least I'm not getting raped in the Superdome.

I mean, what the fuck is it about natural disasters that make some people crazy fucking assholes? I guess they are already crazy, and the disaster just gives them the green light to act on their crazy shit.

Hmm, this hurricane sure has devastated this land I have lived in for so long. It pains my heart to see such suffering, yet I know what will make me feel better. I shall go rape women at the Superdome!

I mean, is there a worse place to get raped? The fucking Superdome? It's just awful. I guess Veterans Stadium would have been a bad one too. And of course, any place is a bad place to be raped, but if you had to choose a location to be raped, I imagine not many people would choose the Superdome.

So next time you are complaining or hear someone complaining about some stupid shit, just say, "Hey, at least you aren't getting raped at the Superdome."

Oh, hey. Let's stop bashing the president about the poor response. Give him a break. He was on vacation. You know how it is when you are on vacation. You don't really check the news very often, and when you get back home, you're like, "No shit. When did Bob Denver die?"

So give the guy a break. He was on vacation and one of the largest cities in his country was destroyed. It could happen to anyone.
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