Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Friday, August 12, 2005

Oh man, I am tired right now. I'd kill for a nap. But then I'd probably feel all guilty for killing someone just to get something as simple as a nap, so I doubt I'd be able to sleep. And I'm not sure killing anyone would ever result in getting a nap. You can't kill someone and get sleep. Well, I mean, you could kill someone and then go to sleep, but you wouldn't get sleep from killing them. You could get Air Jordans or an iPod from killing someone, but not sleep. You could get a bed and a pillow from the person you just killed as well, I suppose, but the actual act of sleep would not be gotten from killing anyone. Am I making myself clear?

So kids, don't kill someone and try to get a nap from them. Just take their iPod and their drugs.

So. What's up everyone? Like I said, I am tired. Last night I hung out with my boy, Mike "Hollywood" Ochs. We got drunk and Mike tried to do awesome things to get mentioned on my blog. Towards the end of the night, he was like, "So, will you mention me?" And I was like, "Well, nothing really awesome happened. I had fun, but it was mostly good conversation. But nothing really bloggable." And then he was all, "Yeah, I see what you mean." So as I was driving home and Mike was in the passenger seat, he goes, "Hey, look out for that oncoming bus!" And I was sort of, "What oncoming bus? I don't see anything." Then he said "This bus!" and just unloaded a mean right hook into my balls. So I cried and crashed into a parked bus and laughed and said through my wheezing and tears, "I will mention you now! Touche! I'm pretty sure I can't have kids now."

I was watching the Mets game yesterday with the most awful collision I've ever seen. I happened to be, um, mouthwashing? I was walking into the living room so I wouldn't miss any of the game, and bam. I almost did a spittake with Listerine all over the place. Luckily, I kept it in and prayed that Mike Cameron would be alive.

The whole thing was a little gay. It looks like Cameron is giving Beltran a very violent kiss here, then afterwards, Beltran tried to spoon a little with Cameron, but Cammy wasn't having any of it. I would imagine if I just broke my face, I wouldn't want to cuddle either.

Let's go Mets.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006