Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

I guess I need to blog about something. I've got nothing. But I will try.

I saw my friend Rich this weekend and we had this conversation about my blog:

Rich: You say the pussy word a lot.

Me: You mean vagina?

Rich: Yeah. You say it a lot.

Me: You do realize that saying 'pussy' is more offensive than 'vagina', right?

Rich (turns to his wife): Is it?

Wife (nodding): Yeah.

That's why I love Rich.

Some guy wearing a bike helmet, but didn't have a bike, yelled to me tonight, "Hey." I was walking through the Hoboken train terminal from work at 1 AM. I was wearing headphones, so it annoyed me that he would try to get my attention. I looked at him and he yells, "Any vending machines in here?" I gave him the most condescending look I could muster and shrugged. My look and my shrug, I think, was the equivalent of "Why the fuck are you asking me that?" Oh, and "Where the fuck is your bike, you helmet wearing douche?"

I gave him the same look everyone gave Marty McFly in 1955. I was a hair away from saying, "Hey kid, you jump ship?"

My 30th birthday is approaching. I am undecided if I should have a huge party or not. It's kind of sad to throw a party for yourself, right? My backup plan is to cry in the bathtub.

Let me know if you'd show up to a party. Also, let me know if you'd show up to watch me cry in the tub.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006