Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Well, here is a random post with some random stuff.

I didn't fall asleep last night until 6 AM, so while I couldn't sleep, I watched Million Dollar Baby, which I did not like, and I'm making sure the world knows about it by giving it 2 stars on Netflix! 2!

I just hated the Morgan Freeman character. I'm so sick of him being the nice, soft-spoken black man. And the narration was annoying. I kept waiting for the Shawshank music to kick in.

I want to write a movie for Morgan where he just plays a total prick. And not like the old grizzled prick he was in Se7en. I don't know. I'll write a treatment. I'm working on some titles, and so far my favorite is "Baby Kicker."

Morgan Freeman in "Baby Kicker."

I don't have much in the plot department right now, but I know it's going to be about a guy who kicks babies. And we can even have some narration. Imagine Morgan Freeman's voice saying things like, "Yeah, ever since I was a baby, I just knew I wanted to kick other babies. I even tried to kick myself a few times as a baby, but I wasn't so flexible. So I waited until I got older. And I kicked. Right in the soft spot. Yeah, ain't nothing like kicking a soft spot. I guess it comes down to a simple choice: Get busy kicking or get busy dying."

Yeah, so anyway. MDB wasn't so great.

This article about the Courtney Love and Dave Grohl feud made me giggle. I really like this quote from Ms. Love:

"Dave gets to walk away unscathed and be the happy guy in rock, when he's one of the biggest jerks," Love says in the August issue of Spin, on newsstands Friday. "He's been taking money from my child for years."

Um, Courtney, you were a drug addict. So not only did you neglect your daughter while you did drugs, but you put lots of money up your nose and in your veins that could have gone in Frances Bean's nose or veins.

Today at work, there was this conversation between two people:

employee 1: What is your age?
employee 2: Huh?
employee 1: What is your age?
employee 2: You mean how old am I?

Good times.

I bought a couch from this guy. When he brought it over, he forgot to bring the legs of the couch, so I've been sitting on a low-rider for a while. No big deal. So he had the legs in his car and he kept saying this: I've got the legs in my trunk. The rest of the body's in the back seat.

And then he'd go "Ay-oh!" Or something like that to indicate that a joke was just made. It was pretty funny.

Work has been kind of funny so far this week. There's been a lot of talk about Carly Simon for some reason, then she was on CNN tonight. Again, for some reason. I don't know why. Perhaps it is Carly Simon Awareness Week. I should get a Cause Bracelet for Carly Simon Awareness. Is that what they are called? Cause Bracelets? No, Awareness Bracelets, I think. I really fucking hate them. Anyway, if I got a Carly Simon Awareness Bracelet, it would say, "You're so vain, you probably think this Cause Bracelet is about you."

So to sum up:

* Morgan Freeman will win an Oscar for his career defining role in Baby Kicker.
* Courtney Love is still an idiot.
* "What is your age?" is not an understandable question for some.
* Let's all take a break from our day and think about everything Carly Simon has done for us.

All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006