Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Monday, July 04, 2005

Hi. Remember me? I used to be a guy that blogged a lot. Now I'm just a guy.

I got my apartment and I've been moving and getting my shit together, and I don't have the internet, so blogging is/will be sporadic for the time being.

Yeah, so living on my own. I'm a big boy! It's not until you live alone where you realize how much shit you don't have. My kitchen stuff consists of a toaster oven and five pint glasses I've stolen from bars over the last few years.

So far, living by myself is fantastic. I really like crapping with the door open.

I do miss Doug, because now when I get home, if I have a bad day, there is no one for me to beat the shit out of. I used to beat Doug quite a bit. But then I'd hug him and tell him that it's not his fault.

Hoboken is similar to New York. Less mailboxes. That's all I've really noticed. I have to walk for a long time before I get to a mailbox. Oh, and there are lots of loud girls on their cell phones. They are in New York too, but I've noticed lots in Hoboken. Right after I signed my lease, there was this girl who was yelling on her cell phone, and this was her part of the conversation:

Yeah... last night. We got shitfaced. Shitfaced. Yeah, he was there.... He got me shitfaced. ... Oh, listen to this. So we're getting shitfaced and... Shitfaced. He got me shitfaced. Yeah, so I was totally shitfaced. Then he just left. He hugged me and left. And I was there, just shitfaced. What the fuck was that about?

Maybe he didn't want to hook up with you because you only use one euphemism for getting drunk. If I wanted to hook up with a girl, and all she said, for example, was "plastered," I'd want nothing to do with her. And shitfaced is an unattractive word. You know, because now I imagine you with shit all over your face.

Yeah... last night. We got shit all over our faces. Shit all over our faces. Yeah, he was there.... He got me shit all over my face. ... Oh, listen to this. So we're getting shit on our faces and... Shit on our faces. He got shit on my face. Yeah, so my face was totally covered in shit. Then he just left. He hugged me and left. And I was there, with just shit on my face. What the fuck was that about?

Anyway folks, I'll try to be a better blogger soon. Oh, and to answer Justin's comment from the previous post, I did alter the Brian Haley quote, only after Mr. Haley himself emailed me to correct it. I was just going on my memory with the quote and apparently got it wrong. And apparently Brian Haley now spends his time Googling his name. I asked him if he'd be doing stand up again, and he told me that he is and it's going to be really big. In fact, he said, "It will involve construction cranes and clydesdales. Huge." So that's exciting.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006