I just yawned and accidentally gleeked all over my keyboard. I gleeked!

I went to the Mets game on Saturday. They lost. Booooo! Good game, though. The best non-baseball part was in between one of the innings, this went out over the PA system:

"The owner of the vehicle with license plate XXXXXX, your keys are in the ignition. And it is running."

The PA announcer had good delivery. He purposely paused between the two sentences for ultimate funny. Everyone laughed and I heard these two nuggets:

Dick!

Have another drink!

I was at the bank earlier today and this guy walked out and he was wearing a t-shirt. It had two pictures on it, side by side. The one on the left was of a monkey with a finger up its butt. Beneath it said "Scratch." Then on the right, there was a picture (artist's rendering, not actual photographs) of the monkey now smelling his finger, and beneath that, it read - you guessed it - "Sniff."

There are many questions I have about this shirt. Why would anyone make it? Why would anyone buy it? Why wouldn't the friends and family of the person wearing it say something?

Oh wait. I know why. Because it's a monkey picking its butt and then smelling it. That is brilliant.