Because I am bored and I can't think of anything to write, I have decided to answer some questions that people asked me way back in December when I asked people to ask me three questions. And because I'm an asshole, I didn't answer all of them. And I still won't! But here are a few.

These are from a gal named Allison who identifies herself as "A Big Fan in the Midwest." That's nice.

(1) What occupation would you like to (legitimately) try?

Oh so many. I'd like to be a pilot. That would be pretty cool. Speaking of flying, I've always wanted to survive a plane crash. I would also like to own my own record store.

(2) What do you do at work to look busy?

I click my mouse and go, "Oh, come on." Lots of mouse clicking and mumbling. There used to be this guy that I worked with who was king of looking busy. He would hold his mouse and stare intently at his computer, and get his face really close to the monitor. It was such an act. He got fired.

(3) Do you think there is a plan for all of us or we're all just out there willy nilly?

I love the phrase "willy nilly". I wonder if anyone has the name Willy Nilly. It would be awesome if in an interview, someone asked God that question, and he was like, "Oh no, no plan for anyone. You are all out here willy nilly."

As for me, I don't think there is a plan. I believe we are all willy nilly. Which makes God pretty lazy, don't it? Just sitting up there on his cloud playing solitaire while we run around down here looking for meaning.

Here are three questions from Rosemary.

1. If you could have dinner with three reality TV stars, past or present, who would they be?

Hmm. Only three, huh? Flavor Flav would have to be there. There was this one girl from a Road Rules, I forget which one, that I had a crush on. Her name was Christina. I suppose she should be there. But I'd be pissed if Flav hit on her. And who else? One more... Oh that drunk Irish guy from The Real World in LA. Dominic. He was great.

2. What's sexier: Homer Simpson in nothing but his underpants and Mr. Plow jacket or Ned Flanders is his body-hugging ski suit?

Stupid sexy Flanders!

3. Why does Rosie Perez have a career despite the fact that her voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard?

That is a fair question. To this, I do not know the answer. I haven't seen nor heard from her in a while, so maybe the rest of the world is catching on.

Is that the proper use of "nor"? Hope so.

Man, this post is boring. I need to jazz it up. Holy shit! Read this article -- Skydiver Dies After Legs Severed in Midair

Here is a picture of some ducks. I had a dream recently that Burger King started serving duck. They had these miniature skinned ducks hanging. It was pretty gross. "Yes, I'd like the Duck Burger value meal. Onion rings please."