One of the crappy things about my late schedule and living in Queens is that everything seems to shut down at 10:00 around here. City that never sleeps? They didn't take into account Queens when they made that one up. We sleep plenty.

Tonight when I was walking home, I saw a delivery guy on a bike. I wanted to knock him off his bike, grab him by the lapels, then get all Jack Bauer on his ass and be like, "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!?" I just want a fucking taco, man. Sometimes I'm coming home and I'm like, All I want's a taco. Yes, All I want's a taco. That is what I think.

See, I love me some tacos. And I enjoy eating tacos before I go to bed. In Brooklyn, you could eat something from any corner of the globe at almost any time of night. You want some falafel at 3AM? I know a place that will deliver it to you, motherfucker.

So if you live in Queens and you hear a guy yelling some time after midnight, "Can I get a taco?! Falafel? Anything? Someone must have something? Please?!" That's me. Throw me a tortilla and some ground beef. I'll be pleased as pico de gallo.