Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Thursday, March 03, 2005

I went for a return visit to the dentist today. One of the areas where one of my wisdom teeth used to reside has been hurting like hell. All of the others are fine and seem to be normal, but this lower left one has been a cunt. Yes, a cunt.

So I saw the oral surgeon today, and I told him that I can't really eat anything, and even if cold water goes over it, I feel pain like I've never felt in my mouth before. I said, "It feels like the worst canker sore in the world." He looked in my mouth and said, "Well, everything is healing nicely. And you have the worst canker sore in the world."

So I conveniently got a canker sore right where my slashed up gum is healing. I'm glad it's only that and not dry socket. I was worried about that. Dry socket. What a horrible sounding affliction.

Anyway, this canker sore has been wreaking havoc on my mouth, and I think it was also bleeding a little bit for a while, which caused me to spit a lot. I often found myself spitting on the way from the PATH train to the subway and vice versa, which happens to be the sacred Ground Zero. So I felt like an asshole spitting there, but I had to. I'm a terrible American.

I'm excited to be healing properly. I can't wait to eat a huge meal. I've lost a lot of weight. I'm not sure how much, because I haven't weighed myself since I was at my aunt's on Thanksgiving. She has a scale in the bathroom. I think I only ever weigh myself on Thanksgiving at my aunt's. But I can tell I've lost weight based on my belt knotches. And I am a very hungry kid. I've been eating nothing but yogurt and soup for a week. Now I know exactly how starving Africans feel.

I was going to post a picture of what I look like and how much weight I lost, but I was going to link to a photo of one of those horribly malnourished African kids. But to find a picture of that, I had to Google "starving africans", which made me feel like a dick, and then seeing the pictures... well, I didn't find any that were very funny. I feel like those kids used to be hilarious. Guess not.

Anyway, I want to eat a big meal. I think I'm ready. Something crunchy. Something with nuts in it. I want to chew on some nuts. I want to yell to the world, "I WANT NUTS IN MY MOUTH! CAN SOMEONE PUT SOME NUTS IN MY MOUTH?!!!?!"

So I'm off to Colorado for work, and I hope they feed me well. See you next week, moferthuckers.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006