Tonight on my way home from work I stopped and got some sushi to go. As I was walking home, I nearly got hit by a car. I had the right of way and he was apparently not aware of my rights. Anyway, I thought it would have been sad (like when I almost got hit by a car last January), but if I did get hit and killed, I hope that the worst investigator ever would be the one to file the report.

He'd be looking down at the scene, notice the pieces of sushi scattered about. Then, very slowly and dramatically he'd look up and say to the onlookers, "My God. This man was half-fish."