So my first day with the mustache was awfully successful. It's kind of weird to go into work with a new look, especially when it's kind of ridiculous. People don't always notice it right off the bat, so they just stare at you with a "something's different" kind of look. I find that it's best to just point it out right away. I had to go ask two people something, and I went to where they were sitting and I said, "Hey, um." They looked up and I said, "Hi, uh, I have a mustache. Do you guys know where..."

When I was going to work, I caught a glimpse of myself in a reflection on the subway and I just started laughing. It's a very entertaining mustache. Also, when I was going to work, I was incredibly tired because I stayed up very late shaving. So I wasn't my sharpest. I was walking to the PATH train turnstiles, where you have to insert your fare card. I had neglected to even take my fare card out of my wallet, so I was just walking full speed to the turnstile, and I just slammed into it as I tried to walk through it. I started laughing because it probably looked very funny to other people, then I laughed harder when I remembered I had this mustache, so it was even funnier. It's one thing to walk into a turnstile, it's another to walk into a turnstile with a cowboy mustache.

So last night I was kind of drunk. Or very drunk, whatever you want to call it. I blame it on the mustache. I noticed this morning that I had some sort of crusty red substance on the leg of my jeans. I can't tell if it is candle wax, tomato sauce that fell off some pizza, or dried blood. And I really can't rule any of them out.