Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

In case you were wondering, Cathy got married last weekend. Here is a little bit from the ceremony.

I once made a promise to myself that I would never marry someone who didn't know where they were when the Challenger exploded, because I felt they'd be too young, you know? I think I might put that silly rule aside and commit to never marrying someone who consistently says "AACK!" I will gladly take some young thing who asks me "What's a Challenger?" over something like Cathy any day.

Now, I'm not much of a reader of comics. I don't really know Cathy's history. I know she's had some weight problems and it took her a while to find a man. And she says "AACK" a lot and her eyeballs are close together. That's all I really know. Knowing that, I also know that this wedding of hers is probably the biggest thing to ever happen to the comic strip. And all Cathy Guisewite could come up with was this piece of garbage of a comic strip? I would think that there would be something fairly emotional, like Cathy being all, "Even though I'm a tubby ol' cunt*, I've still got myself one hell of a man." Not something idiotic like a couple of pets fighting over a bouquet. I was going to say "dog and a cat" rather than "a couple of pets" but I can't really tell what the hell those things are supposed to be. The thing on the left looks like a chocolate chip muffin.

* I would like to credit Lisa for the phrase "tubby ol' cunt". That was how she referred to Cathy in an email she sent me after my first Cathy post and it made me laugh like a goon. I don't even think it's the word 'cunt' that makes it all that funny. Tubby. That's a great word. I've used the C word twice in the last two days on the blog, and I've never used the word prior to that. It's a tricky word.

If you have nothing to do and you like saying to yourself, "How on earth are things like this popular?" then you can go and follow the entire agonizing Cathy wedding (or should I say AACKonizing? Get it? Brilliant. Go ahead Cathy Guisewite, you can steal that. I'll let you have it.) right here.

I understand that it must be difficult to write a shitty comic every week. You are under pressure to make something amusing in one little box six times a week, and one big funny box once a week. But Cathy, this was your Super Bowl halftime show. Show a tit. Get people talking.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006