|Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before|
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
I have a Ganglion cyst on my wrist. Is there an uglier word than Ganglion? It's disgusting. Anyway, I went to this doctor who I was referred to so he could take a look at it. He was this old Polish guy. Plus, he was useless. He said that the cyst was too small to do anything about. I said, "Well, it hurts." He kind of shrugged and said there's not much he can do. I said, "I shouldn't have to put up with pain like this, right? Normally, from what I understand, these aren't supposed to hurt, and if they do hurt, they need to be treated." Again, he shrugged. He asked me what kind of pain I was having. I said, "Well, I can't even do a push-up. It hurts to put pressure on my wrist." He then said, "Well, don't do push-ups."
Thanks for that advice, dick. Can I have my fucking co-pay back? I should have just gone to my dad.
"Let me smash it with a book."
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"It's how they did it in the old days. Everything got smashed with a book."
"I'm pretty sure that's not the best way to fix it."
"Yes it is. How do you think you were born? I smashed your mother with a book. Now hand me that dictionary. Unabridged, motherfucker."
Maybe I should just go to my mother for a second opinion, but I'm sure she'll give me her usual, "Son, stop being such a pussy."
So if anyone out there has some medical advice for me, I'd appreciate it.