Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Hello ladies.

I would first like to thank everyone for the very helpful tips on how to fix my wrist. I have to say that Big Stupid Tommy's idea was the best, though.

In my family, we have a saying: No Wrists, No Cysts.

I say, find a doctor who will amputate the forearms, and attach the hands to the elbows. If you can't find a doctor, any Japanese person will be able to do it for you with their samurai sword.

I grant you, it makes the little things awkward...eating, playing the cymbals, wiping your butt.

But everybody's impressed with your tyrannosaur impression.


Great suggestion.

Anyway, I've been flossing a lot lately. Flossing makes me feel good. It's very difficult to get into flossing, but once you do, it's like, "Hey, if I can keep up this flossing bullshit, I can do anything!"

I've always had a feeling, though, that once I started flossing, something awful would happen to me. Like my doctor would tell me I have cancer, and my first thought would be, "Damn. And I just started flossing."

If you are someone that dies young, and you know you're about to die, you might look back at all that shit and wonder, Why did I floss so much? I could have been doing so much more, non-plaque related.

But I'm glad I'm flossing. I hope when I look back on this life, I regret the sleeping too much, and not the feeling of cleaner teeth.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006