Some songs should not be allowed to be played in public spaces. I was just at a restaurant (OK, it was a Taco Bell/KFC, so I use the word 'restaurant' loosely... I guess 'cow testicle/chicken beak depot' would be more appropo), and they were playing that Shania Twain song where she says something about being a little crazy and then she goes, "Oh-oh oh oh, I feel like a woman."

The reason I loathe this song, aside from the obvious (the obvious being the fact that it's ear poison), is that it gets stuck in my head for hours on end. So I'm walking back to my apartment and I'm practically singing to myself, "Oh-oh oh oh, I feel like a woman." And I don't know the other lyrics so it's just that line over and over.

I always had a fear that dead relatives can listen to my thoughts if they chose to, so I'd hate to have my grandmother be like, "Let's check in on what Michael is thinking about. Such a nice boy." Then she taps into my brain and hears "Oh-oh oh oh, I feel like a woman." Then she says to my grandfather, "He's a gaylord."

I have many unreasonable fears, and each and every one of them can somehow be traced back to Shania Twain.