Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

It's no secret that TV imitates itself. One reality show becomes successful, there are twenty more that spring up that suck. It's really any sort of show that this happens. Once Everybody Loves Raymond became popular, family comedies were all the rage again, taking the place of the too hip for their own good Friends imitators.

One of the most surprising rip-offs I've seen in a while is Celebrity Blackjack, which is trying to share the thunder of Celebrity Poker Showdown. I'll admit that when I first heard about Celebrity Poker, I was less than intrigued. Seemed kind of boring. But then I actually watched it, and I'm not saying it's the most exciting show on TV, but it's pretty damn enjoyable. Part of that reason is because they get decent celebrities, and there is a strategy to poker. It can be fun to actually watch people play.

But Blackjack? There is no strategy there aside from what the "book" tells you what to do. You know, stand if the dealer is showing a six and crap like that. Boring. And they don't get good celebrities. This picture is from the web site, where they don't even identify these people.

"Tonight on Celebrity Blackjack, we have that guy that hosted Talk Soup! No, the one after Greg Kinnear. You know, real likeable, had that gray patch in his hair? And the guy from Malcolm in the Middle! No, not Frankie Muniz, the guy who works at the supermarket with the mom. He's kind of fat, but it looks like he lost some weight. That guy. And also playing is um... some black guy with a hat! Probably a comedian of some sort! And finally, I think that's my cousin Greg! I think. I'm not sure. Maybe it's John Favreau? I don't know. Anyway, they're all here to play blackjack! No, not poker. Yes, blackjack. Yes, where they try to get to 21. No, they play against the dealer. Hey, where's everyone going?"

My point is this is that if there was going to be any card game turned into a TV show with celebrities, it should be Asshole. Celebrity Asshole Showdown. If you aren't familiar with Asshole, it's a drinking game where the goal is to get rid of all your cards first. Whoever does that becomes the President, and the last person to get rid of their cards becomes the Asshole. So the President is in charge and can command everyone else to drink, and it's most fun to pick on the Asshole.

So get five or six celebrities, a couple of cases of beer, and let the magic of Hollywood take over. How much fun would it be to see someone like the dad from Frasier playing Asshole with James Vanderbeek? The dad from Frasier could be like, "Drink, asshole. Hey asshole, drink." It would be awesome. The tag line could be, "Celebrity Asshole Showdown. Because all celebrities are assholes."

Don't steal my idea.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006