Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

One of these days, I'll stop talking about my commute, but today is not one of those days.

The oddest part about it is the return trip on the PATH. It rides like a normal old subway (only smellier... God damn, that PATH stinks... the trains, the stations, the people... every thing about it smells... it's not like subway urine... it's unique to the PATH... don't know what it is, but it's distinctly "PATH"... I imagine that one day I might be somewhere else in a far away place, get an odd whiff of something and say, "That smells like the PATH!")

Anyway, all of the sudden as you approach the stop at the World Trade Center, you are suddenly outside and you do a little semi-circle around Ground Zero. You remember when they would find a body and carry it up that ramp they built and it would get impossibly quiet and the local news would show them carrying the coffins up the ramp? Well, the train now goes beneath that ramp. It's weird. Not necessarily eerie, but just weird.

It reminds me of this. You know that ride in the Magic Kingdom called the People Mover? If you aren't familiar with it, the People Mover is a ride that moves people. Seriously, that's it. You get in this little car and sit, and this thing just moves around the park at a leisurely pace. There are no seatbelts, no restraints whether they be shoulder or lap. You just sit. Anyway, there is one part where all of the sudden you are riding through Space Mountain and you can see the little roller coaster cars go flying by in the dark. The moment the People Mover brought you into Space Mountain, it was one of those things where as a kid seeing it for the first time, you go, "Wow!" Well, that's kind of like the PATH train riding by, and basically through, Ground Zero.

I didn't say "Wow!" but I did think, "Holy shit. What the fuck?" I curse more now. The whole thing is bizarre because it used to be enclosed and there used to be a mall down there and now it's all gone and I remember thinking that they would find hundreds of people alive in the Duane Reade when they dug through all the rubble. That never happened.

Anyway, let's talk about something more uplifting. Yesterday, I was talking to a gal named Sarah and the subject of miscarriages at amusement parks came up. You know, every day stuff. It reminded me of this one time when I was working at the Disney-MGM Studios and I noticed a crowd, or a gathering, outside of a ladies' room. I found out from one of my co-workers that there was a woman inside who had just suffered a miscarriage. Not from going on a ride or anything. It just happened.

So that kind of bummed me out. Happy people on a vacation and then that happens. Then I saw her husband outside of the bathroom and he was crying. Ugh. Major bummer. Not only did this woman just suffer a miscarriage, but her husband is a total pussy. I kid!

I was curious as to why he wasn't in the bathroom with his wife. I think the "only ladies in the ladies' room" rule could be lifted, just this once. Then I hear this supervisor get on his walkie-talkie and he says, "OK, we are going to need a wheel chair. And also bring some comp tickets."

Comp tickets?! I thought I misheard him.

"I know you just lost your unborn child, and that is sad. But please feel free to come back. And you know what? This one's on us." Then he pulls out the comp tickets, and streamers and balloons come flying down and there's a strobe light. "That's right! You can come back to the scene of the worst tragedy of your life at any time! For FREE!!!! There is no expiration date, so in the future, when maybe you'll be able to have one or two of those kids, you can bring 'em in for free. Have a great day. Oh, and also as a special surprise, Mickey Mouse is going to ride in the ambulance with you to the hospital! Your husband will have to take a cab, though. You know, there won't be much room in there what with the paramedics and Mickey Mouse with his big head and all. But we'll pay for the cab, so don't sweat that."

Oh well. I'm sure his intentions were good, although completely retarded.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006