Here are two amusing searches that people have used to get to this ol' blog o' mine.

"stuck a broomstick in my ass"

Yikes! Good luck to you, young man (I'm assuming).

And another search:

"where's a good place to touch myself vagina"

Well, it seems you've answered your own question. I'd say you're off to a good start. The vagina is a great place to touch yourself. Not that I have one. But I know a guy.

Remember when I told people to email me three questions? Well that's turning out to be a lot more work than I thought. If you are sitting there at your computer hitting refresh over and over again, yelling, "WHY WON'T HE ANSWER MY QUESTIONS, DAMMIT!" I suggest you take a break and come back once a day. I will get to them at some point. I am just so fucking busy and so fucking popular that it might take a while. And I might never answer them at all. Especially this guy's.