Yesterday I was walking through Times Square when a very old man approached me. He was with his elderly wife and looked lost. He said to me, seemingly quite irate, but somehow in a jovial way, "Can you tell me where we are?!"

I looked at him and said, "You know where you are? You're in the jungle baby. You're gonna diiiiiiieiiiieiieieieii.... in the jungle. Welcome to the jungle!" I stopped when I got to the "Shananananananeeee" part.

OK, so that was a lie. He asked if I knew where this one address was, and of course, he was a block away, which was something I discussed way back in my second post of all time.

I think I had a point here. Apparently I don't. Maybe I just wanted an excuse to get all Axl Rose on your ass.

You know how sometimes you just can't delete old emails? There's just something about them that makes you giggle every time you see it? Well, I have this one in my sent file, and it's really the subject line that makes me happy. That subject line is, "mark gastineau hugging a retard".

Thanks Greg for that one.

I think I need to stop saying "retard" or any forms of it. Like, "That's retarded." From now on, I will say, "That's all mentally slow and whatnot." Or "That's totally paralyzed from the neck down." Or "That's so easily amused by things like cookies and often scared by loud noises created by things such as fireworks."