Well, America. Here we are. After all the Bush bashing, flip-flopping, pavement pounding, flag flying, terrorist torturing, uummm, I'm out of alliteration.

Anyway, the big day is here. And in only a few short weeks, maybe months, we'll know who the winner is. That will be another exciting day.

It looks as though Puffy's Vote or Die campaign has been more effective than people expected, based on what already looks to be a record turnout. Perhaps this will start more "____ or Die" campaigns.

Floss or Die
Volunteer or Die
Set Up a Living Will or Die
Don't Get Cancer or Die
Buy My Motherfuckin' Album or Die

A month ago, I would have said, "Bush will win." Now I'm not so sure. What's scary is if Kerry does win, we are all going to be eaten by wolves. I think. I'm not sure, but I think that's what that one Bush ad said. I totally don't want to get eaten by a wolf, let alone a pack of them.

Whoever wins, let's hope that we all made the right decision. And when this is all over, I invite people of all parties to my apartment for a big party. We'll drink Sam Adams and yell shit about the Alamo. And if there are any Nader supporters, we'll plant a tree. Then the Bush supporters can cut it down and build a deck. Then the Kerry supporters can tax the shit out of it.