Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Someone at my place of business left a stack of CDs in the kitchen, with a note above them that read, "Take these." So I did. Well, some of them. And one of them is so mind bogglingly amazing, that I can't understand how this guy isn't on the same level as Usher.

His name is apparently Sup. The song? Pussycat, Pussycat. There is only one song on the CD, but there are 11 versions of it. All of them will blow you.

There is a warning on the cover that reads "WARNING: This song has the potential to drive your sexual groove OUT OF CONTROL!" And in case you don't heed that warning, there is another on the inside cover that makes it clear that this song has some amazing sexual powers. It declares, "WARNING: If your sexual drive is out of control, please do not listen to this song in public!"

Awww, yeah. Only in the privacy of your motherfucking home, y'all.

Sup also lists his Top Ten Soul Tips To Please Your Pussycat. Tip number 1 is "Put on the Pussycat song, now you are ready to start."

OK, Sup. I've got the song. Eleven different versions of it. I am more than ready.

I won't give you all the tips, but tip number 2 is flat out amazing, and I love the way he just cuts to the shit. Ladies and gentlemen... Tip Number 2:

Tell her that you are gonna enjoy her backside like a thick juicy T-bone steak served on a silver platter with potatoes, hot soul gravy and corn bread on the side.

Nothing a woman likes more than having her ass compared to a steak. And oh yes, cornbread on the side.

I'ma put some A-1 on that ass.

Tip number 9 is for Kat. "Use a touch of ruff neck style for the spice."

And now I know what you really want. Some lyrics. Here is my favorite verse:

I'm gonna treat you like ice cream on a cone girl
I'm gonna lick you from the sides
and treat you like a piece of lickery stick

Damn! As if your ass being a steak wasn't enough, now you are ice cream in a cone. Hope you don't melt and get my hands all fucking sticky.

Sup's night of romance isn't done yet.

and after I'm finished with you
I'm gonna take you in my arms
and walk you to the shower
and both of us are gonna take a shower together, baby
and when you finish washing my back
I am going to wash yours

and if it steams up in here
don't worry baby that's just me
showing all my love and my heart
through my body
the steam is going out of my mind
because baby, I know how to treat you girl

I probably should have put a warning to the ladies before I typed those lyrics, because you might get all hot and bothered at your work place. I know how that line about the steam coming from his body and mind is quite the turn on. And nothing is sexier than a lyric like, "and when you finish washing my back I am going to wash yours."

Straight and to the mother fucking point. We both have dirty backs, baby. Let's scrub that shit.

I'll leave you with this. Another lyric to get you all hot and bothered. A lyric that will practically speak to your vagina:

yea girl how you feel?
you feel good? hmm
that's good 'cause I'm not finished yet

Fellas, all I can say is take these lines and make them your own. If you are going to try and slightly change the lyrics, I suggest you use caution. Sup is a professional and he knows what he's doing. I made a few up. I'm going to try this one tonight.

oh yeah girl
you're like a pop tart, right?
you got your frosting on the top
and the crust underneath
and when I take you out of the toaster
you're all hot

All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006