Today is one of those days where I'm like, "Fuck blogging." But it's not exclusive to blogging. I'm also like, "Fuck changing into my work shoes." And "Fuck being awake."

I'm tired. Stupid baseball. Keeps me up too late. The wings and beer don't help.

Here is my game plan that the Yankees should follow: Don't pitch to David Ortiz.

Here is my game plan that the Red Sox should follow: Enjoy yourself and just wait for your cruel fate to destroy your hopes, yet again.

Here is my game plan that I will follow after work: Go buy the Arrested Development DVD, watch some episodes, take a nap, then watch baseball. Do most of this pantsless.

I heard a funny joke recently. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?

I'm not going to tell you the punch line. Figure it out.

David Ortiz kind of reminds me of the Abominable Snowman.