One of the weirder things about my Colorado trip was the dreams I had. Probably because I was in a different bed almost every night of the trip. You know when you sleep in a room or a bed other than your own, you wake up without provocation, look around, wonder where the hell you are and hope to God your pants are still on.

I had a dream one night that I was at Mount Rushmore and I somehow destroyed the face of George Washington. I don't know how I did it, but all of the sudden, his face was nothing but a indistinguishable jagged mountain edge.

On the last night I was there, I stayed in a hotel room near the airport. I had a dream that I was checking out of the hotel, and the guy behind the counter said, "OK, I'm going to ask you twenty questions about your stay here, and you have to answer at least four of them, otherwise your entire stay will be broadcast on the internet." So he starts asking me questions about what I watched on TV, and I couldn't get any answers. So I started freaking out, saying he was violating my rights and whatnot. Bottom line was I couldn't answer any questions, so my 13 hours in a hotel room were on the internet for all to see.

I can't imagine it would be a hot seller.

"Dude, should we download the new Paris Hilton video, or do you want to watch the one with this guy in a hotel?"

"Well, what's he do in the hotel room?"

"Says here that he drinks 5 beers of a six-pack and eats tacos."

"No shit. What else?"

"Watches some baseball."

"Download that shit. I can see Paris Hilton another time. I want to see this dude eat some fucking tacos."

There were tons of other dreams, but I can't recall them. Probably not as fun as that one.

Hmmm. You know what bugs me? HBO not showing movies in widescreen format. I think we are to the point as a people where we have accepted and understand that widescreen is better. I used to think you were missing out on something because it wasn't using the full screen. Like those black bars at the top and bottom were just being unutilized. But I was just a dumb kid back then.

Dear HBO,

We are ready for the widescreen.

Sincerely,
People

I can't watch pan and scan shit anymore. It bugs the nuts off me.