This weekend I was at my cousin's wedding. I'd like to believe that there will be a special place in hell for the DJ.

He was the most annoying DJ I've ever seen, and more importantly, heard. He wouldn't shut the fuck up. He started off by saying something like, "Are all you party people ready to party? (smattering of woos and applause) Aw, come on, you can do better than that. I said, 'Are all you party people ready to party?'" But with his New York accent, it was, "pawty people."

More applause, slightly louder. A stupid question, because he is already under the assumption that we are party people, so of course we should be ready to party. That's what we do.

He also did the, "Everybody say 'Yeah!'" which I can't stand. He was very demanding. He kept making people say things. "Just the ladies, say 'Yeah!' Now the guys. Say 'Yeah'. Aw, I can't hear ya. Now everyone who ordered the Prime Rib, say 'Oh yeah!'"

OK, I made the last line up, but he wasn't far from it. At one point he told everyone who was on the dance floor turn to the camera and wave. Then he said, "Now, everyone say 'We love you' to the camera." How spontaneous! "OK, now is a good time for everyone to go to the bathroom. Even if you don't have to, let's go. Try and squeeze something out. I'm not playing the Macarena until you do."

He has control issues.