My older sister is getting married next weekend. This will be fun.

As children, and now as adults, Christina worries a bit about me. No matter where I go, she says, "Be careful." When the security alert recently went Orange, she told me that I should move out of New York. When I was a kid and would go to mow the lawn, she'd tell me to be careful. I wear my seatbelt because of her.

Anyway, a few years ago, she didn't know where I was. I think I stayed at a friend's house or something, but irresponsible me never phoned home, so she didn't know where I was. I got to work the next day and I had an email from Christina simply saying, "Where are you?" I found this funny, because if there were some sort of emergency, would I have access to email?

Anyway, here is what I replied:

help me. i don't know where i am. these guys asked me
if i wanted candy, and of course i said yes! but now
they have me in a basement somewhere and they look
like they are mad at me. and they have a dog who seems
mad too. all for a twizzler! what have i done? thank
god they gave me this computer, though. i'll keep you
updated, but right now, they look like they are about
to do something with me and the dog.