Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Friday, August 13, 2004

Last night I got home and I was kind of drunk. Celebrating some asshole's birthday. When I got home, one of my roommates had this awesome puppy that she was watching for a friend. The thing was adorable and was a lot of fun to play with. Thing is, though, I don't much care for dogs. Except for when I'm drunk. I love dogs when I'm drunk. There are lots of things I enjoy while drunk.

When I'm sober though, I get all OCD when it comes to pets. Because I'm allergic, whenever I pet a dog I feel I have to wash my hands immediately, so I can't really enjoy them. Except when I'm drunk and I just don't give a fuck. Like last night. I was drunk. Did I mention that? Anyway, the little shit bit me, but it was so cute I didn't care. If I was sober, I might have punted that thing off my fire escape.

You know what I was kind of OCD about as a kid? Well, do ya? Do you know? No, you don't, because I've never told anyone this. When I would go to church or say my prayers, I'd always have to make sure when I blessed myself, that I closed it off. Does that make sense?

This is what I mean. Let's say I bless myself, right? Then I say my prayer... "Dear God. Bless Mom, Dad, Christina, Laurie, Grandma and Grandpa," I would say. Then I'd add in whatever was specific to that point in my life. "Please let me do well on tomorrow's spelling bee and make Diane Stasik like me..." Anyway, I'd always make sure to bless myself again, because if I didn't, I'd feel that my prayer was still open and that whatever I said or thought, God would hear. So I always made sure that I blessed myself an even number of times, because the last thing I'd want is to accidentally open up a prayer, then later on in the day be on the toilet reading a Cosmo trying to find a dirty article. God would be like, "What a nice boy, even prays on the toilet. Let's see what he has to say. Dear Cosmo, My boyfriend insists on me giving him a bl- Oh, good God! This boy is evil!"

So hopefully I have blessed myself an even number of times, otherwise, these last few years are going to come back and bite me in the ass. Just like a puppy.
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