Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Just when I'm about to move out of my neighborhood, things start to get interesting. Yesterday, I spoke of the forever crying baby. There is also this lady who yells at her cat nonstop.

"Buddy," she starts off calm. "Buddy. Buddy! BUDDY!!!!!" It turns quite angry. She's nuts. And she acts like this cat can talk back to her. Here was the conversation from yesterday:

Lady: Buddy! What are you doing?

Buddy: (Just sits there quietly and looks back at the Lady.)

Lady: BUDDY! BUDDY! You are driving me nuts!

Buddy: (silence)

Lady: What are you doing? Taking a cocky?

Me: (Uncontrollable laughter)

Buddy: (Does nothing except continues to take his "cocky")

Lady: Oh, Jeez! Come on! Buddy! Buddy! BUDDY!

I couldn't believe she said "cocky". My neighbor when I was a kid used to say that all the time to her kids. "You gotta take a cocky?" Is there a worse word for poop? I'm going to start using it more often. Especially at work. "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom. Gotta take a cocky."

And now the hat trick for my weird neighborhood goings on happened this morning. I walked out of my apartment and I saw a rat on the hood of a car. This car is a car that I always see. It belongs to one of my neighbors. Anyway, after being kind of startled, because I've never seen a rat in my 'hood, I noticed that it was a fake rat. A plastic rat. So now I'm assuming this guy is involved with either the Mafia or anti-Union.

Maybe it's a good thing I'm getting out of the 'Burg. What with crying babies, cats taking cockies all over the place, and people being threatened by toy rats, it might be a good time to leave.

All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006