Someone got to my blog by searching "scott peterson and the ice cream theory". I have no idea what that theory is, but I'm all ears. I'd love to know. It sounds way more convincing than the "had to kill pretty wife so i could date ugly lady" theory.

That also sounds like a great name for a band. If Scott ever gets out of this little mess he's in, he should definitely start up a band called Scott Peterson and the Ice Cream Theory. The title of his first album? Gone Fishin'.

Someone else got to my site by searching "auditions for Huggies commercials". I'm assuming that's a parent searching on behalf of their baby. Probably not a baby who thinks he/she would totally nail an audition.

"Okay, little Johnny, are you ready? Good. Aaaaand, now! Poop your pants! Perfect! Oh, what a fabulous poop! I don't throw compliments around very often, but son, you have got it! I've seen poop from here to Asia, and that is the finest poop I have ever seen!"

Speaking of poop, I was in Newark, NJ Monday night for the Newark Bears game. It was a work outing. I hung with Anise, Bill and Jeff.

Rickey Henderson plays for the Bears. He is still awesome and old (45). In contrast, Ricky Williams is 27 and he just retired. I'd like to know what Rickey with an e thinks about that.

Two fine examples of The American Dream. You have Rickey Henderson, who is one of the greatest players to ever play the game of baseball. After breaking records all over the place, he could be sitting anywhere in the world on a beach with a beer in one hand and a boob in the other, wiping beads of sweat from his brow using hundred dollar bills, smiling at nothing, saying to people, "I was Rickey Henderson." Yet he is playing baseball in Newark, NJ for a minor league team where he might make $50,000. Might. And may I add, he is still playing his ass off. The guy can still fly.

Then you have Ricky Williams. One of the greatest college running backs of all time, on his way to becoming one of the elite running backs of all time in the NFL, making heaps upon heaps of money, but decides to retire at the age of 27 so he could travel. I guess those trips to Buffalo and Foxboro, Massachusetts twice a year didn't fulfill his sightseeing qualifications. Now he can go anywhere he wants, roll joints with hundred dollar bills, and get all the boobs he pleases.

Two fine American Dreams. Not sure which one I'd choose. Probably Rickey's dream. Although I would have been nicer to people along my way. And maybe a little more modest.

I could have done it with a little more determination and maybe working out once or twice. Come on. Look at my form.